Snail Trails, Escargot, and Other Dubiously Slimy Things

Caution: Proceed at your own risk. This post talks about boogers. Green ones.

From a young age we are taught that 'sharing is caring'. And I agree to a POINT. But I also believe that this adage has a few exceptions. Sharing is NOT caring when it comes to the following: toothbrushes. boyfriends. razors. and germs. In my book, none of those things are ok to be sharing. That's where I draw the line. You are definitely not caring when you share them.

In my classroom, I have control over most of those things. But regrettably those nasty germs like to join in on our social skills lessons on sharing and spread their...influence. Despite hand washing, hand sanitizer, and copious amounts of clorox wipes we still have sickness getting spread around my class.

A month ago it was the stomach flu. This week it is the pernicious cold. You know, the one with the nasty cough that gets all the gunk in your lungs. The same one that makes you congested in your entire head. You're not sure how you can blow your nose every 3.7 seconds and still have slime coming out. But you do.

A majority of my students have this. We've worked on wiping your nose with a tissue. And when they are reminded, they do pretty well. (We haven't been able to get down the blowing part yet. Baby steps.) A majority of the time, however, when they have a need to wipe the ever encroaching green slime they use the first thing they see. Which usually ends up being some limb. Generally the arm.

And then they wipe. And the wiping leads to... a snail trail.


Snail trails. I'm not talking about the residual effect of an actual snail's blatant pathway. Nope. We all have seen someone who has had a moist boogey slowly sliding down their face and then they pull out...anything BESIDES a tissue. And then the L O N G wipe proceeds to take place. Generally working its way up from hand to elbow.

Welcome to my class.

On one particular occasion this week we had a student getting over said cold. His nose was green and goobery. Poor kid. I don't how he even had room for a brain up there with all of the boogers he had stored. I'd want to get rid of them if I were him.

Wanting to relieve himself from the discomfort he naturally reached for the closest thing to him. Which happened to be his sleeve. And true to the character of 5 year olds, he started at the bottom by his sleeve and worked his way up to his elbow.

And do you know what he found at the end of that snail trail? A sizable loogie. It almost looked like an actual snail that had crawled its way up and deposited himself in the crevice of his elbow. And in his little 5 year old heart I can only imagine the thoughts he had. But I'm guessing it was something along the following lines.
'Wow! This is cool! What is it? How did it get here? I wonder how it tastes....'
He found gold at the end of the rainbow!

This 'lucky' discovery got him so excited, that he bent over and then ate said deposit. Just ATE IT!! Although I've never personally eaten escargot, I can confidently say eating it would give me the same reaction that I proceeded with.

I tried my best to mask my obvious disgust. By coughing I was able to avoid dry heaving, even though that is exactly what I wanted to do. My overly active imagination felt the snot falling down my throat. It was too much! My aide and I proceeded to try and get him cleaned up, but the damage was already done.

What is it with kids and wanting to suck on their own snot?

Now you're probably wondering, why I was such a horrible teacher to not catch him in the act sooner. This kid was a ninja! It was wipe. eat. done. I sat their helplessly as he swallowed. Stunned.

I guess on the bright side it couldn't have gotten him any sicker than he already was. How much damage did it actually cause? Probably none. But it still grossed the heck out of me.

I guess there are perks to a desk job. You probably don't watch your co workers make a snail trail and then eat it. At least I hope not. It's ever so slightly less gross when a 5 year old does it.

But I think the pros of my job far out way the days that involve unnecessary amounts of tissues and hand sanitizer.

"Together We Fit"
-Nicole

Welcome. Bienvenido. Herzlich Willkommen. добро пожаловать.

That is how you say, 'welcome' in all of the languages that are spoken in my classroom. You might have guessed that this a culturally diverse classroom, and you'd be *ding, ding, ding* correct. Too bad I can only speak 25% of those languages fluently/at all. 

Who would've thought that in the suburban area of Utah where little to nothing exciting ever happens I would have such a diverse kindergarten class? Yep, Kindergarten. 

I teach Special Education Kindergarten in Utah county. This is my 3rd year as a professional teacher. I graduated from Utah State in December of 2014. (2 years ago this week!) I guess time flies when you're having fun. Or collecting gray hairs. 

My niche is Autism. I've worked with it for the last 8 years and I love it! I love the new challenges that is brought with each individual. Somedays it feels like I have the attention span of a goldfish. But working with these kids keeps me on my toes all day. I'm constantly moving to keep up with them. (Hmm...maybe that means I should be skinnier than I am...) Admittedly it's not always easy. And somedays I am SO happy I get to go home to my quiet house, but I want to make my point clear. I love working with these little individuals.

This year there was a change on the district level and with the changes I had a new adventure. I am still teaching an Autism Kindergarten class like my previous years, but only in the morning. Now, my afternoon class is what they call a "transitional kindergarten". Basically it's for students who are delayed in some way, but they aren't sure the best placement for them. Should they go to general education in 1st grade? Should they repeat general education (gen ed) Kindergarten? Should they go to a Special Education class in first grade? There are a plethora of possibilities. And honestly, it's stressing me out. 

Special Education teachers have a unique job. The goal of our job is to put ourselves out of a job. In Special Education the ultimate goal is to be able to get the students back to a general education setting with their typically developing peers. Granted, that doesn't always happen, so although  I don't have a good salary or benefits, I do have good job security.  

So for better or for worse, this is the rollercoaster ride I've chosen to hop on. 

That's the background on me and my class. The point of this blog is a place for me to pass along fun ideas I've had about teaching but mostly to share funny anecdotes about my job. Because, although it may not seem like it, 5 year olds are HILARIOUS! They are all so different, but together they make my life brighter. That's why I love the motto, 'Together We Fit'. 

Enjoy!